No Pun Intended
by What3
Summary: In which Papyrus goes mad.
1. Chapter 1

"NYEH HEH HEH" Papyrus shouted as he flipped his non-existent hair and stroked his non-existent beard. Of course, he realized that he had no hair a long time ago, but continued with it just 'cause he was Papyrus.

Although there commonly isn't, there was reasoning for his use of an imaginary goatee, as he was deep in thought. This was on an especially serious topic, even for him.

"Now, what should I use for my next spaghetti spectacular…" he pondered.

"Thats it!" he said in a sudden outburst. "I'll use pasta and sauce and-"

"PAPYRUS" Sans suddenly burst into the room with a gaster blaster following (a bottle of ketchup at hand too, but thats besides the point). "ITS CHARA AGAIN"

"Who?" Papyrus questioned.

"The creepy kid with the issues and pointy knife thingy"

"oh….OH…OH MY GOD. WHAT DO WE DO, SANS"

"I dunno, but we sure do have a bone to pick with them"

"….this is not the time Sans"

"C'mon bro, it doesn't hurt to tickle a funny bone once and a while"

"Sans, no"

"I have a skele-ton of jokes, Pap, i have to use them somehow"

Papyrus took a deep breath.

"Don't be such a numbskull"

Before the great Papyrus could have a great outrage, the door burst open in the same manner as when sans came.

And lo' behold, it was Chara, holding a knife (made for cutting vegetables, but killing is fine too).

"Hey skeleton bros, ready to bust a bone?"

Papyrus lost it.


	2. Chapter 2

After the last…incident… they managed to get rid of Chara. Or rather scare her off with Papyrus' sudden outburst. (Trust me, it wasn't a pretty scene with bones flying everywhere and Sans yelling while trying to not spill the ketchup he had)

Even so, the great and mighty Papyrus soon forgave his brother. But with Sans, theres no denying that the puns will come filing in any moment.

And accordingly, the following day didn't go so well either.

"ATTENTION MONSTERS, MY NAME IS PAPYRUS.." Papyrus sang as he stirred (aka causing a storm) his pot of spaghetti.

Suddenly, the door burst open, again.

The soon-to-be royal guard paused and took a deep breath.

"Sans, what do you want this time"

"Hey bro, I brought Frisk along, they wanted some spaghetti."

"Why hello Fris- OH MY GOD IS THAT A SPEAR"

And sure enough, there was Frisk, holding a spear and wearing their unique expression as always.

"SANS YOU ARE SO IRRESPONSIBLE. HOW COULD YOU. THEY HUMAN COUD GET HURT AND WE COULD GET IN BIG TROUBLE. WHAT WILL TORIEL SAY…" Papyrus continued giving Sans a lecture for quite a while, leaving no attention on Frisk.

Which apparently was a bad idea, seeing that Frisk STABBED the spaghetti with the gleaming spear.

The moment Papyrus heard the horrifying sound of his poor spaghetti getting hurt, he turned around and fell to his knees.

"H-HOW COULD YOU.." he sobbed.

"Speargetti sounded like a better meal" said Frisk.

"Wait, you can talk, kid?" questioned Sans

Frisk completely ignored him and proceeded to grad a bottle of ketchup and poured it all over the speargetti.

"You need to ketchup to my level, Sans." challenged Frisk.

"Oh your on kid, bone appétit"

As they launched puns at each other, Papyrus continued to mourn over his spaghetti and keep himself together over the immense amount of puns that were currently traumatizing him.


	3. Chapter 3

When Papyrus gets mad, he _gets mad_.

And by that, I mean REAL mad and things get real bad. (non-intended pun and rhyme)

As in bones-flying-everywhere and bonetrousle-playing-intensely-in-the-background kind of bad.

Lets face it, the poor skeleton had a bad day. I mean, he had his dear spaghetti stabbed and then was stuck in the middle of a pun show-down.

But since we're talking about an Undertale fanfic here, its bound to get worse.

As if on cue, Chara busted in for the second time.

Everyone stopped. With bones sticking out of the floor, sans tripping off a gaster blaster, and Frisk running around shouting "FITE ME", it wasnt exactly a pretty sight. On the other hand, Chara seemed to find this hilarious.

Chara started laughing.

And laughing.

And laughing.

And laughing some more.

"I came back to give you a pun-ishment but seems like your in the middle of something already." Chara managed to say.

If possible, Papyrus managed to get even MORE ticked off.

So mad in fact, that he started to focus his attacks on Chara. And with his level of rage, all we can do is hope that Chara survives.

Meanwhile, Sans was remixing Pap's mixtape and Frisk was dancing to the sick beat while dodging the projectile bones at the same time.

* * *

 _AN: Thanks for all your reviews, favorites, and follows!_

 _-Admin Llama_


	4. Chapter 4

Today, we bring to you an interview instead of our regularly scheduled chapter. Apparently, the narrator didn't want to get caught in the middle of the intense battle.

Note that this interview was taken prior to the incident. Which explains why Papyrus isn't as mad.

* * *

Interviewer: "So, what do you enjoy to do the most?"

Papyrus: "Making spaghetti of course!"

Sans: "Makin' puns and goin' to Grillby's"

Chara: "Knife."

Interviewer: "Interesting, whats your favorite song?"

Sans: "Megalovania"

Chara: "THE SCREAMS OF TERROR OF MY VICTIMS"

Papyrus: "My mixtape, of course. Why, in fact, you can get my hot new mixtape for just $9.99 with shipping and handl-"

Interviewer: "OKAY. Next question. Which ship do you like the most?"

Sans: "Alphyne"

Chara: "Knife"

Papyrus: "Titanic"

The interviewer quit.

* * *

AN - The author will not be posting on Sunday 5/29. She is on a trip to a llama farm that's over the rainbow.


	5. Chapter 5

Today, we bring you back to our regularly scheduled chaos.

"THIS IS FOR MY SPAGHETTIIIIIIIIIIIIIII" Papyrus hollered "I WILL AVENGE YOUUUUU"

Bones were cutting through the air rapidly and pasta splattered everywhere mixed with sauce and a hint of seasoning.

The great Papyrus was standing in the middle of the mess holding a spaghetti bazooka. (20XX model, for 20.99 only, get it now before its sold out)

Chara sat behind a mountain of bones while writing on the floor with their knife. 'Day 3- He's still going strong. Someone needs to stop him. Even the narrator is in the corner hiding. Need water. And better wifi service.'

There was suddenly a huge explosion in the background, which made Chara and Frisk crash out the window. They apparently didn't think about escaping through there earlier, in which they felt ashamed and deep regret for.

The explosion was cause by the gaster blaster rays and a huge amount of spaghetti colliding (don't try this at home, kids). This, somehow, opened up a void.

And of course, when there's a void, there's also a Gaster.  
"Sup Dadster" Sans greeted.

"D-dad?" Papyrus stuttered.

"Heya kids, what a nice greeting, I'm flabbergastered"

"Heh, you still got it, pops. Go for another"

"Hmm…I would tell a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction."

Papyrus lost it. Again. For the 3rd time.

Guess you should a-void your dad, Papyrus.


	6. Chapter 6

Surprisingly, things cooled down for a few days after Dadster the pun master came along. (another non-intended pun)

This was extremely abnormal, seeing that Sans hasn't made any puns since then. A genuinely concerned Papyrus decided to check it out.

"Sans, are you not feeling well? You haven't cracked a joke in a few days"

"Nah, but I guess you could say…I lost my funny bone"

They stood there for 5 minutes with Papyrus staring holes into Sans and Sans bracing himself for the 4th outburst.

"Sans…you made that joke back in the first chapter"

"Eh, people probably didn't stick around"

Papyrus hoped that that wasn't a pun. He really hoped. But Sans pulled out a stick from behind his back anyway.

His tolerance has of course grown but he had his limits.

Frisk appeared out of nowhere and was holding up a Papyrus-Rage-O-Meter. So far, it was pointing to 'mildly annoyed'.

Papyrus turned around to make spaghetti since it always seemed to calm him down.

"Sans, did you take all the ketchup again"

"Well, you caught me red handed bro"

He lifted his hands to show that they were covered in ketchup.

The meter showed 'annoyed'.

Papyrus was trying hard to control himself.

"Want some skele-buns with that spaghetti bro?" Sans said while holding up a baguette.

The meter went up to 'very annoyed'

"Whats wrong Pap, don't have the guts to fight?"

Papyrus was about to shout but stopped himself.

'Oh god Sans stop' read the meter.

Sans took out a ruler and waved it around.

Papyrus took a deep intake of breath.

"Sans, what are you doing"

"I'm measuring your patience"

"NYEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH"

Frisk ran for their life, dropping the meter that now read 'Run.'


End file.
